I don't know what I am doing, and I am not the only one.
Maybe it's generational, maybe it's something in the water, but so many of us are floundering. Not sure what to do with ourselves, but sure that this isn't it. (Well, ok. By 'sure' I mean we really, really hope there is more than this.)
What I mean is, where is the greatness? The adventure? The... career? Something. I'm 26, single, work at a coffee shop, have no degree, live with my parents... this is not to say that I don't have ever so much to praise God for. His blessings are new every day!! Therein lies the rub. When I have so much I don't rely on God for my daily living.
That was the sweetness in the road trip. Sweetness in brokenness. In the state I was in this Spring I couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't function at all without leaning totally on God. I praise Him for my healing and needed a new heart... but that sweetness is gone. I can get through the day without Him (at least, it feels like it), and I'm not sure I like it.
I need direction. Contentment. A degree. (A plane ticket?)
My night time devotional spurred this blog post. I was just going to post another quote, but I got to thinking about it. Thinking about how this applies to my life. Thinking about how this applies to the lives of my friends and decided that if I didn't pull out my computer and just write it down that I would lie awake thinking about what I would write and then forget everything by morning.