Dear Kevin,
Have you thouhgt about investing in a full length mirror? You would be doing a great service to yourself and to all of us that have to see you if you would look in the mirror in a well lit environment every once in awhile. This activity will elighten you to the fact that you are neither black nor a size XXL.
Additionally, I advise you never pick up a microphone again. I understand you are trying to earn yourself a place in the media as someone other than just Mr. Britney Spears, but, Kevin, there is no shame in being a kept man. Britney loves you, she'll take care of her baby daddy.
Your Friend,
Casey
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