I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes

"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.”

I'm sitting in my room, all kinds of bundled up, watching Love, Actually. Wearing my grandfathers Russian tea cozy hat drinking hot apple cider and eating popcorn.

I was going to write a nice entry tonight, but I just don't have it in me these days. Emails to friends, blogs, journal... I've really had a hard time writing lately. It's like my minds gone blank.

I will say this: I absolutely can not wait for Cynthia to get home for Christmas!! It will really be Christmas time when she gets here.

I love this movie. “Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love.”

Where the Wild Things Are

I feel like the only person in America that hated Where the Wild Things Are. I was so excited to see it, and total disappointment. It was dark, depressing and pretty disturbing.

But I suppose, now that I think of it... I never really liked the book.

Some things (this is a pointless entry):

Dalene and I bought sweet headband things like the one she brought home from Austraila to wear on our road trip. They are hecka awesome and the seller on etsy is super nice and sent us a free one. You should buy one too: http://scarletterosefairy.etsy.com

Dalene is back in business! She is renting a chair in a salon in downtown Livermore. Today was her first day and she gave me my best haircut yet! It's sort of a faux bob. Agyness and P!nk are sure to follow.

This is the first week of intensive (sort of) Bible study with the girls. We decided to ramp it up for fall with a Beth Moore study on the book of Daniel. So far it is amazing. I read through the book (of the Bible not the study) before we started. It got me thinking about 'Daniel's diet' and how I'd like to try it... but maybe not really. I would die of starvation since I don't like vegetables. I've decided to try eating vegan for the duration of the study as sort of a fast, but I am failing somewhat miserably. I've been thinking about writing a blog about my experience with attempting Daniel's diet... but that sort of ruins the whole point of fasting. You're not supposed to tell anyone. (Whoops. No one reads this though, right?) So. Look for an upcoming entry on my failures as a faster.

I just watched Sisterhood of the Traveling pants. Here is what I thought:

- I am so glad I have awesome girlfriends

- Why didn't anyone tell me this movie was SAD??

- I'd like to go to Greece and be saved from drowning by a handsome man that owns a boat

- Do I have mascara all over my face? (the answer was yes. ALL over.)

(photobooth photos are amazingly unflattering. Or is it that I just cried through a movie? Anyway, this is my awesome headwrap/dreadwrap/thing...)

Into the WIld

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,

There is a rapture on the lonely shore,

There is society, where none intrudes,

By the deep sea, and music in its roar:

I love not man the less, but Nature more,

From these our interviews, in which I steal

From all I may be, or have been before,

To mingle with the Universe, and feel

What I can ne'er express, yet cannot all conceal.

-- Lord Byron

If you haven't seen Into the Wild already, I highly recommend it, but settle in for a long film. 

So, this boy gives away all his college money and disappears into the wilds of Arizona, California, and, eventually, Alaska. He has very few possessions, the most important of which are his books. 

It is difficult for me to put into words the things i felt and the ideas that roamed through my head and my heart as I watched Alex Supertramp walk in and out of people's lives and through the wilds and, ultimately, die alone in the wilds of Alaska. 

The idea of walking away, of walking into the unknown exhilarates me. Stepping out of mainstream society to live a life more dangerous, more exciting and more meaningful is what I desperately long to do, but I haven't the slightest idea of how to do it or of even where to begin. 

For Alex it was about leaving home, it was walking away from his family and from money and creature comforts.... and it looked noble. It seemed like a difficult thing to do, but in the end (actually towards the middle of the film) I realized that he, in fact, was a coward. He was selfish. He ran from his problems at home. Abandoned his sister.

When Alex met people on the road he connected with them. They loved him... and for what? He left them, too. The old man in the dessert. He should have stayed with him. I loved what he said, "To forgive is to love, and to love is to have the God shine upon you." (Or something like that.) 

But then I guess he would never have found what he was looking for. He discovered that happiness must be shared. 

"For it is not good for man to be alone."

What does this mean for me? Well, to begin with, I signed up for ebay and have started selling my stuff. I'm so over having so much stuff everywhere.... especially the designer stuff. I am going to pay off my credit card and then I'll go where the wind (or, rather, God) takes me. 

I'm not going to be disappearing into the wilderness anytime soon (hello, I love good cheese and hot showers), but maybe I'll head to India finally. Or maybe back to Thailand. Or maybe the beaches of LA. 

Stay tuned.

Across the Universe

I can't even begin to convey how much I loved this movie.

I went into it with really high hopes. I've been looking forward to seeing this film since I heard about it over a year ago... and I was not disappointed!

It was beautiful and stirring. I laughed, I cried.... Just go see it... if you like good movies. And the Beatles.

Oh, and it was SO hard not to sing along!

So I'm in love with Vincent Gallo now.

Richard loaned me Buffalo '66 yesterday and I figured if I didn't watch it tonight I'd end up being that person that borrows a movie and never gives it back... or at least has it for like 6 months. I hate being that person. So I watched it. And it was amazing. Like. So good. Rent it now. Immediately.


The movie starts pretty slow, then suddenly you realize that you're an hour into it and you're completely entranced with Billy and Lola, the sweet, pathetic leads.


Also, the colors and cinamatography are brautiful. Just one little moment: Lola taking off her jacket, Billy laying on a bench... they're beautiful. They're beautiful like when you find beauty in the mundane... only you realize it's not mundane. It's art and it's been made for you to appreciate. (I'm making no sense. Sorry.)

Just watch it, ok?